By Dylan Roos
Here are three quick tips that you can Implement on a daily basis to help your mates open up to you.
Number one it starts with you. Okay, we have to remember that all men have been given the societal standards that it is weak to open up that showing vulnerability is unmasculine. It's unmanly and that our mates don't want to hear our sh!t and that's not from a place of you being a bad friend, or anyone being a bad friend. It's just a case of we are not well-versed in how to dive below the surface on how we're going and then we haven't really been supported or seen positive role models open up willingly to their friends. So we're just navigating an area where we're unsure how to navigate or we've never been there before so it starts with you. So you're trying to get your mate to open up. You understand that he's going through something that You know, he's not really telling you you know, what's happening in his life. You ask him how he's going? Yeah. Good mate. How are you? It's the stock standard male response. So what you want to do is rather than continually asking him how he's going and you going in circles and thinking sh!t. Well, I don't know how to get through to him open up to him. Go to him and say, hey mate you have a second. I'd like to talk to you about something else that’s going on. in my life; works really stressful, the missus whatever it is and open up to him because what that's going to do. Is subconsciously tell him that vulnerability is okay within this friendship.
Vulnerability breeds vulnerability.
Number two. What you want to do is pick the best time possible for him to take that first step in opening up to you. So the only times you ask him how he's going is at the pub when you having a few drinks with your mates, it's not really the most conducive environment for you know, deep and meaningful conversations. But if you take him aside, you know after a run or when you go on a walk together or you’re down at the local cafe and it's just you and him in a one-on-one setting. Men are much more likely to go and let down those barriers or those walls and say okay. This is what's going on in my life.
Number three is you need to be patient. This is not going to be an overnight thing just because you share one story with him doesn't mean he's going to immediately reciprocate. Take your time. Be patient hold the space for him. It is so imperative that whilst this is all about him. We let him take you know, his time getting there because at the end of the day we're coming from a place of love and we want him to feel like he can open up to you.